


Clouded Mind

by Justafewthingstosay



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Find out, Recreational Drug Use, Spoilers, Spoilers for 158, no beta we die like men, what if OG Elias was almost taken by the lonely? Well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:27:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24665371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justafewthingstosay/pseuds/Justafewthingstosay
Summary: Statement of John Smith, former drug dealer to a client only known as E. Statement begins
Comments: 7
Kudos: 26





	Clouded Mind

**Author's Note:**

> OG ELIAS HOLD MY HAND, I JUST WANT YOU TO BE OKAY

Statement of John Smith, regarding the change that he noticed in one of his clients. Statement given 25th of May 1996. Committed to tape by Jonathan Sims, the Archivist.

Statement begins.

I’m sorry for not giving you my real name. I have the feeling that I should, but I don’t know how you guys feel about illegal stuff, so due to the fact that I got most of this info from being this dudes drug dealer, I think its better to just not give it to you.

Anyway, it all started at a college party in 1989. I used to go to a lot of parties in college, not really because I enjoyed them, but because you can make good business at college parties as a drug dealer. Mostly from those that are already into drugs and are just looking for an extra kick, due to this being a party of a friend of mine, there were a lot of those people there.  
But there are also the other end of the spectrum at college parties, students that shake with the mere thought of their finals, or the fact that they just feel awkward at parties. 

I don’t normally go for those kids. I feel bad for them most of the time and I don’t want to give them another issue, so I stay clear of them, unless they specifically ask me for drugs. 

The guy that I saw that day, didn’t ask for them, but fuck dude. He was just sitting on the couch, playing with the hem of his shirt so much that I thought it was going to rip between his fingers any second, and when he saw me walk in and hand some weed to a girl, he asked me if he could have some. I told him that I only sell for a price and he paid without hesitation.

Long story short, this man became one of my best clients.

I never knew his name, just knew him as “E” because that was what he saved himself into my phone as when I handed it to him.

E was a good client, mostly because he tended to be quiet and respectful, fuck he even got me a Christmas card at one point. I made a rule of not really becoming friends with those I sell to, just to keep business easier, but It was always nice to know that he wasn’t going to be annoying when he asked to pick up some grams. 

I knew that he finished college only because he once complained about his new job, that was in 1991, I believe. He said that he started working in some archive. He only told me, because I asked why he suddenly asked for double the amount. He said that his new job was stressful and the coworkers were “special”. 

I wasn’t in the mood to pry at the time, was just happy that I could expect double the income from him and left it at that. 

Well, I would have left it at that, if his order had stopped increasing after that, but it didn’t. In the beginning, he got enough for about maybe one or two blunts every three weeks, but it soon turned into such a large order that it was around three or four per day.  
I honestly thought he started selling my stock as his own, which isn’t unheard of, but it is uncommon, especially because he didn’t strike me as a guy that would do that. 

Well, doesn’t really matter now, does it? All that matters is that I had the feeling that he got worse, even thought of suggesting therapy to him once, but then again I didn’t even fucking know the guy.

I don’t think a lot of people did. The way that he smiled at me when he came to pick up an order, as if his face was uncomfortable with the act itself, as if it wasn’t used to smiling. Sometimes his voice would be hoarse, but not in the way of screaming and then waking up with no voice, no, it sounded hoarse from neglect. As if he didn’t speak to anyone.

Slowly it came to the point where I felt terrible after every time that he picked up his order. It seemed like he wanted to talk, wanted to converse with someone, as if this little bit of conversation that we had when he picked up the stuff was enough to last him a lifetime.

And then curiosity got the better of me in 1996. I watched him, just for one day. I needed to see what he did. I needed to know. I just had to. 

So I watch him, I didn’t know where he lived, but I had once seen him take the DLR from Lewisham in the morning, so I got there early, arranged some drop-offs with clients, and just waited for him to pass me. 

It took him around an hour and then he did. I followed him all the way here. Into this institute. I couldn’t follow him then, so I didn’t. I sat in a coffee shop close by and took out my laptop. Pretending to be one of the scriptwriters that always write in those. 

I saw him take his lunch break a few hours later and followed, I saw him pick up some chips that he then ate sitting on a bench, before feeding the pigeons with the leftover ones. 

The weirdest thing about it all though was that he didn’t speak to the guy at the chips shop. He had just pointed at the sign and was done with it.

I watched him smoke three blunts in his lunch break. There was no way that he wasn’t high when he took his lunch break. From the way his eyes had looked, it seemed like he either had terrible allergies, or had already smoked twice that day.

Well, the thing about that day was, the entire time, I felt something watch me. First, it was the guy in the chips shop, then the pigeons. It was never E. It was something else. But I just couldn’t pinpoint it and now that I think about it, I don’t think I wanted to do so. 

Anyway, that was one of the last days I ever saw E. He called me though, the day after that, told me that he didn’t need the drugs anymore, that he found something better. It didn’t sound like him though, the nervous way he talked, how he behaved was all gone. Honestly, it sounded like someone just straight up replaced him.

I would say that I stopped worrying about it, but I’m, aren’t I? 

I saw someone when I came in. He had the same stature as E, but I didn’t see his face. It was the same hair colour though, but the way he carried himself was all wrong.

It didn’t really calm me either that when I asked about a person that worked here that started with E, you sighed and rolled your eyes. 

I just, I want him to be okay. He seemed like a nice guy. 

Maybe he just quit. 

I don’t know. I hope he’s okay.

Statement ends.

I don’t know how I feel about this one. I know that Jonah overtook Elias, but it seems like Elias was taken by the Lonely before the Eye could take him forever. Sometimes I think about what he must have been like before all of that happened. Now I know, he was terribly, terribly lonely. 

End recording.


End file.
